Saturday, June 12, 2004

I KNOW I CAN

But im just on the verge of confusion now...hold that thought..i am confused and tired. Many moments of my own life has been spent explaining myself..my thoughts. Sumtimes i speak alien-o-logy or perhaps cynical-ogy or substandard psychological thoughts tt seem to immerse my mind in intense obscurity. To even write sumtin here is like draggin myself..yet wats so hard..its juz the tappin of keys amidst an empty n isolated blanketed space.

But since im here n have alot to write about lets go on a topic basis shall we. In fact lets start with recent events that has deluded me n made me more ingenuinely preoccupied with a voice in my own head.

LIFE
Oh well im broke n penniless id say. I don't much to look forward to except for lets say conscription? I will be a government dog soon..n like wat other guys tell me..u haven seen half of the world till uve gone through national service. What crap is that..i have to scream yes sir and no sir and CHEEBYE sir for 18 hrs a day juz to make a point that I will step down from my beliefs and be owned and chained to sublimity and patriotism for two years and come out a changed individual with less amateruism? oh well...tts how life goes isnt it..its UNFAIR..n u gt pple ard u telling u...

Hey dude dun think so much

..or

Hey dude look on the bright side of life.

Wats the use of speaking when u dun even wake up to see whats awakening around u and when u dun understand zilch about life itself. We all wake up in a world full of comfort and yet we said..damn man..i want more!! more more more. We are nv content..its all about money these days.Power, greed,and insanity driven by modern civilisation.Mankind has evolved over centuries with beliefs shaped from different points of perception and judgement of practicality. Everiwhere ard us, pple are juz happy with scratching the surface and wantin to believe that there's all there is to it. No more, no less. We are being shut down by moral decadence and being demoralised everitime we try to speak Up our mind or hit back with constructive criticism or in the simplest words i mite label "BITCH". I dun know wat state I am in really..but perhaps id share this with all of u..from this book of short stories which i read. When u cross a river, leave the boat behind and carry on with your journey. Another river which comes along the way will demand another boat..do not carry the same boat on your back all the way. In this way one shall be able to leave immense thoughts n the past behind and not worry for the future. So I'll juz have to move on and make do with what I have rite now n prove to the pple ard me tt "I KNOW I CAN"

LOVE
Hmmph..I dun realli wana say much. On the other hand i dun have much to say either. A girl whom ive chased for oh so long...cant bring herself to reciprocate my love. I on the other hand have made a foolish mistake by being disillusioned and being at her every beckoning and call. "Dates" were nv dates..woooing was nv existent...she gets her heaven on earth..coz shes goin to hell aniway..and money is all she eva cares about. She just hasnt woken up after all these times. So i guess ill juz be the insensitive heartless n materialistic slut she was. Well juz the male version..coz at times primitive force is a force to be reckoned with. So if i mite add, this girl is history to me...lets see how she gets plummeted into this twisted world and have retribution on her next wish list. OH boy 1 year and 3 months gone to waste..but nv fear..I've yet to fish in the SEA.

Works of Art
I was planning to write a poem..but its currently onli in the stages of flowing meticulously in my deranged brain cells. But i plan to get it up as soon as tomorrow..so bear with me..I shall get it done asap. N like the typical me it shall be about...how i miss the warmth of a lady..the love being returned...and bla bla bla so on so forth...

FRIENDS...hmm to mani la...ID SAY BROTHERS N SISTERS
My endless gratitude goes out to all of u for standing by me and giving the moral support n courage..which if i didnt receive..id prolly end up with 6 feet body bag rite nw with maggots stickin outa my earS. May god bless u all with wateva he didn't want me to receive..LoLx..

Last but nt least thx for taking the time to update yourself with my intense emotions tt change as fast as u would flick the page of a book. Roses and other associated flowers would be greatly appreciated..Oh yeah back to fantasy world! Time to go n kiss my couch peepS..GOOD NITE!

J A Always.... 9:57 PM